Chocolate Salami from Olympic Provisions

Have you ordered your Valentines?  Is your house covered in pink construction paper hearts?  I hope so. 

Valentine’s Day is February’s gift to us.  It’s our excuse to cheer ourselves up with chocolate and pretty flowers as we trudge through the grey, rainy days of winter. 

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Maybe chocolate salami does not scream romance to you, but allow me to share my logic.  Men like robust, cured meats and ladies like chocolate; those two come together and make chocolate salami.  Still weird?  Just bear with me.

When this beautiful, canvas-bound book arrived in the mail I immediately dove into Elias Cairo's story and fell in love.  Witty, charming, and surprisingly humorous, this book does not take itself too seriously, even if it does talk about food safety and, you know, processing meat.

It's chocked full of solid, inspiring recipes, and will have you making your own pate and sausage in no time, but it’s never a bad idea to begin with dessert.

I should preface this recipe by saying that yes, it does have egg yolks, and no, it does not come into contact with the stove.  However, the yolks will eventually be muddled with hot, melted chocolate which will make them just as safe for consumption as a poached egg.  

Just take a moment to appreciate this with me.  Meat mongers dreamed up a dessert where rich, wine-scented, spiced chocolate meets toasted nuts, ginger, and oh yes, crushed potato chips.  You cannot go wrong here. 

Ben and Jerry are likely already working on turning this into an ice cream flavor. 

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I would not boast that this creation has a “best part,” but one of my favorite parts is the fact that as it goes under the guise of “salami,” we can easily serve it as an appetizer.  That means we can sneakily have two courses of chocolate rather than one.  

And, because the chocolate flavor is tempered by the additions of salty nuts and rich wine, this can truly pass as a savory offering.  

The salami can be made a couple days in advance and stowed away in the freezer to save you a bit of prep time on the special day.  Just be sure to pull it out about twenty minutes before you intend on serving it, so that it is sliceable.

I know, this is not red velvet, or pink, or anything like the numerous cutesy treats that are currently dominating your Pinterest feed, but it is truly superb, and something I believe your sweetheart will find surprising and delightful.

Let's treat our sweethearts to something new this year.  

Sincerely, 

Pedantic Foodie

This post was in partnership with Blogging for Books.  As always, all opinions are my own.  

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Chocolate Salami

makes three, 10-inch logs / adapted slightly from Olympic Provisions

• 1/2 cup hulled pumpkin seeds 
• 1/2 cup chopped hazelnuts 
• 1/4 cup slivered almonds 
• 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 8 ounces dark chocolate, 70%
• 4 egg yolks 
• 1/2 cup brown sugar 
• 1/4 cup cocoa powder 
• 1 teaspoon orange zest 
• 1/2 cup red wine, such as Merlot or Cabernet 
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/8 teaspoon round nutmeg 
• 1/2 cup candied ginger, diced finely 
• 1/2 cup thick potato chips, crushed finely
• confectioner’s sugar 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Prepare an 8x8 baking pan by greasing it with nonstick spray.

Line a baking sheet with parchment and arrange the nuts and pumpkin seeds in a single, even layer on the sheet.  Bake until lightly toasted and fragrant, about 12 minutes.  Set aside. 

Combine chocolate and butter in a microwave-safe bowl and microwave at thirty second increments, stirring after each, until melted.  Set aside.

In a large bowl, whisk egg yolks and brown sugar thoroughly until the yolks have thickened slightly and the mixture looks uniform.  Whisk in cocoa powder, orange zest, wine, and spices.  

Fold in melted chocolate and whisk quickly, so that the chocolate does not cause the eggs to separate.  Add toasted nuts, candied ginger, and potato chips and fold together until the mixture is well combined. 

Fold the mixture into the prepared baking sheet and use a spatula to spread it out evenly.  Cover with plastic wrap and place in the freezer for 30 minutes, until firm.  

Cut the firmed chocolate mixture into three equal pieces.  Dust a work surface lightly with confectioner’s sugar and roll each piece into a 10-inch log.  Wrap the logs in parchment paper and freeze for five minutes before serving, or until ready to use.  Slice at an angle, into 1/4-inch slices.  Enjoy!

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Chai-Spiced Pumpkin Seeds {Pedantic Foodie}

Dear October, you're kind of the best. 

I want to bottle up every precious moment of this month, weave them into a blanket, and wrap myself up in it forever.  

I've been drinking cider and downing mugs of pumpkin hot chocolate.  I've gotten lost in a cornfield and I'm burning all the autumn-scented candles I can get my hands on.  I've been living in an October paradise and though parts of my life are still unhinged and stressful, I can happily ignore them because this month - this organically exquisite month, is probably the best part of the entire year.  The laundry can just chill.  There are apples to pick and boots to be worn.  Let's savor these moments.  

My Sunday afternoon spontaneously turned into a pumpkin carving party.  October parties require no adornments.  The orange canopy of foliage is the only decoration you need.  Just heat some cider on the stove and lay out all those newspapers you have wisely been saving and crank up that bluegrass Pandora station you made last year.  

A chicken might come by to critique your carving skills.  They are audacious little birds.  This one decided to dip her head into a guest's water glass.  So rude.  

One of the best parts about pumpkin carving is the leftover seeds.  Yes, of course we are saving those.  Any guest who tries to throw them away is taken off the invite list for next year's impromptu party.  Only kidding.  Sort of. 

We are only a few steps away from a wonderfully addicting snack. 

Though you could roast the seeds right away, it is best to let them dry for several hours ahead of time.  

Though I typically go the salty route, this year I wanted to try to make my pumpkin seeds taste like chai, because: 1) I would make everything taste like chai if I could; and 2) covering things in spicy sugar is never a mistake. 

I par-roasted my pumpkin seeds with a bit of coconut oil and then tossed them in a sweet and spicy chai-esque mixture before returning them to the oven.  

After a few minutes your oven will be releasing the most wonderful sweet and spicy aromas.  

These seeds are great for snacking, or can be used as a topping for morning yogurt or oatmeal.  We have eleven days left of this flawless month and I want to spend them doing as many beautifully cliche Fall things as I can.

Sincerely, 

  Pedantic Foodie

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Chai-Spiced Pumpkin Seeds

• 1 cup fresh, raw pumpkin seeds 
• 3 tablespoons coconut oil 
• 3 tablespoons granulated sugar 
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves 
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. 

Dry your pumpkin seeds in between several layers of paper towels for 1-3 hours, until thoroughly dry.  The seeds should feel somewhat papery.  You may have to change out the paper towels several times if they become too wet. 

When the seeds have dried, toss them in coconut oil and lay them out onto a baking sheet lined with parchment.  Bake for 10-15 minutes, or until deep golden around the edges.  

While the seeds are baking, whisk together sugar and spices in a medium bowl. 

Remove the seeds from the oven and transfer to the bowl of spices.  Toss to coat.   

Return the seeds to the baking sheet and bake for an additional 5-10 minutes, until the seeds are fragrant and deep amber in color. 

Allow to cool thoroughly and store in an airtight container.  Enjoy!

White Cheddar & Burnt Sugar Crackers

I love appetizers.  I like standing around the table, picking up small handfuls of grapes, raiding the cheese trays, and eating all the sliced apples.  It stems from my love of snacking.  It’s a problem, but admitting that in no way compels me to reform.  If I had my way, lunch would always consist of a large tray of various cheeses, olives, apples, grapes, and warm baguettes.  Throw in a big sweater and an old book and oh my goodness - totally idyll.

The great thing about snacking is that no one (including you, thank goodness) can keep track of exactly how much you are eating.  The wheel of brie disappears and no one in particular is to blame.  It just disappeared when half a dozen people were standing around the appetizer table.  That’s a good thing when you consume brie at the rate that I do.

A mid-afternoon snack craving inspired these crackers.  Here’s what happened.  I was with my sister, (that line is always a warning that ridiculous and fattening things will follow), when she whipped out a bag of cheddar and caramel popcorn.  What?  Too weird.  I’m definitely not trying that…well, maybe a little bit.

“That's disgustin - wait…  I’m going to marry this stuff!  Give me that bag!”  And that’s how it all went down. 

Fast forward to the next afternoon when the popcorn was gone but the cravings were strong, and I started contemplating how I could recreate the enigmatic yet addicting snack.  Of course, I could make my own cheesey popcorn, but then I would need to dehydrate cheddar and make it into a powder and yeah -- I was not going to go there.

However, crackers were a reasonable option.  That would take care of the cheddar element.  The caramel, however, stumped me at first.  Then I remembered burnt sugar and I knew good things were about to happen.

Making your own crackers is not hard!  Can you make shortbread?  Then you can make crackers, I promise.  The hardest part is not eating them all. 

After the crackers cool a bit they are drizzled with a heavy dose of sticky, golden burnt sugar.

Burnt sugar is just what it says, burnt sugar.  Not super burnt, but just brown enough to give us that caramel flavor and a touch of sweetness.

I paired these crackers with some crisp apple slices and it was a perfectly balanced snack tray.  Think of the crackers as the cheese and the burnt sugar as the honey.  It’s weird but it really works. 

Snack lunching it up in here.  

Sincerely, 

  Pedantic Foodie

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White Cheddar & Burnt Sugar Crackers

 makes about 70 crackers / recipe adapted from Joy the Baker

for the crackers

• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 2 cups sharp white cheddar, grated 
• 1/2 teaspoon salt 
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 tablespoons cold water 

In the bowl of your stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment combine butter, salt and white cheddar.  Mix on low speed for 1-2 minutes, the mixture will begin to form a ball.  While continuing to mix on low speed, slowly add flour in increments until all the flour has been worked in.  Add water, one teaspoon at a time.  Add just enough water to form a rough dough, you may not need the full amount or you may need a little extra, depending on the humidity.  The dough should not be wet or sticky, just moist. 

Shape the dough into two discs and wrap with plastic wrap.  Refrigerate for 30 minutes.  

While the dough chills preheat your oven to 375 degrees.  

Turn the chilled dough out onto a lightly floured surface and roll out to an 1/8 of an inch in thickness.  Use a 1-inch round cookie cutter to cut out the crackers.  Use the end of a skewer to make several indentations into the center of each cracker.  

Place the crackers on a baking sheet lined with parchment, spacing them about 1/4 inch apart, and bake for 12-15 minutes or until golden and fragrant.  Allow to cool for 15-20 minutes.  While the crackers are cooling, prepare the burnt sugar.

for the burnt sugar

• 1 cup granulated sugar 
• 1/4 cup water 

In a small saucepan combine sugar and water and place over medium high heat.  Stir several times and then fit the pan with a candy thermometer and allow to cook, without stirring, until the mixture reaches 300 degrees.  

Remove from heat and drizzle the burn sugar over the cooled crackers with a fork.  Work carefully and quickly, as the sugar with set up rapidly as it cools.

Allow the crackers to sit for about 10 minutes before eating - this will allow the sugar to fully set. 

Serve immediately or store in airtight containers for several days.  Enjoy!