Caesar salad is my 1am food.

Before I go any farther, I need to acknowledge the fact that I am probably one of the most inconsistent, haphazard, impulsive eaters in the world.

I often cave and buy one of Trader Joe's many plastic tubs of heavenly, chocolate-dipped-whatever while grocery shopping, eat half of the container in one sitting, and by the next day I'm completely disillusioned and wondering why I ever thought miniature peanut butter cups were a good idea. Fickle as the day is long.

I also have very strong and irresistible cravings every couple weeks which usually result in my grabbing Mr. Pedantic by the collar and demanding that we order Chinese take-out, totally disregarding the fact that we just had dinner because I NEED beef and broccoli like, right now.

My brand new husband realized the epitome of my weird eating habits after we had returned to our hotel room the first night of our honeymoon. He returned from showering only to find me sitting on our bed gnawing on a giant piece of leftover steak, only about a half hour after declaring that I was so full I might never eat again.

Sometimes I eat only one meal a day, and then sometimes eat five.

While I am horribly inconsistent, for the past couple months every time I stay up past twelve I crave caesar salad. In London this was easily remedied thanks to room service, but at home the silver tray never seems to arrive.

So, I had to take matters into my own hands.

Meaning, I taught myself to make true caesar dressing so that when the cravings hit, I could grab a head of romaine and go to town.

This is a fantastic caesar salad. It's perfectly salted, the dressing actually to the lettuce, and the croutons are amazingly buttery.

I learned a couple things while trying to prepare the perfect caesar salad.

1. You can never, ever, ever add too much parmesan. I think we already knew that, but it is a good reminder.

2. It is really important to thoroughly dry your romaine before dressing it. I hate it when I order a salad that tastes like water because the lettuce is saturated and the dressing refuses to stick to the wet leaves. A few paper towels will save your salad.

3. Homemade croutons are no longer negotiable. They are also one of the best snacks ever.

I was so excited to eat this salad. SO EXCITED!

However, as soon as I finished the chopping, and toasting, and emulsifying, I could not even enjoy it. It tasted good, like really good.

However, just like every single time I have to smell duck breasts searing (one of the husband's favorite dinners), I could not get beyond the first bite.

I had realized this might be the case as I was chopping the anchovies. The smell was just funky enough to put me off, so when I sat down to enjoy my well-earned snack, the memory of that now-dissipated fragrance ruined my chances of enjoyment. Major bummer.

I don't have any qualms with eating anchovies or duck breasts - I love them. Further more, neither one of them actually smells bad, but for whatever reason, the slight funkiness messes with my brain if have to smell them before they get to my plate.

After expending much mental energy, I contrived the perfect plan to remedy both my illusions and my cravings.

Have your husband make it for you while you sit on your bed watching Victoria and then enjoy it, utterly ignorant of the oddly fragrant ingredients. Problem solved!

Husbands make the best (and cutest) room service.

Sincerely,

Pedantic Foodie

Classic Caesar Salad

serves 4 / recipe adapted from Bon Appetit

for the croutons

- 3 cups baguette cubes, about 1/2-inch

- 3 tablespoons olive oil

- 1 teaspoon garlic salt

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

In a medium mixing bowl combine olive oil and garlic salt. Add the bread cubes and toss to coat.

Line a baking sheet with parchment and spread the bread evenly out onto the pan. Bake for 12 minutes, until crisp and golden. Allow to cool while you prepare the dressing.

for the salad & dressing

- 2 heads romaine lettuce

- 6 anchovy fillets packed in oil, drained

- 1 large garlic clove, minced

- heavy pinch kosher salt

- 2 fresh egg yolks*

- 2 1/2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

- 3/4 teaspoon dijon mustard

- 6 tablespoons good quality olive oil

- 1/4 cup vegetable oil

- 3 tablespoons finely grated parmesan

- freshly ground black pepper

- 1/2 cup parmesan “curls” (run a vegetable peeler along a parmesan wedge to form thin curls)

Rinse romaine and then dry thoroughly by patting with paper towels. If the lettuce is damp, the dressing will not adhere. Cut off the very end of each head and split lengthwise.

Chop anchovies very finely, until they form a rough, thick paste. Transfer to a medium bowl and sprinkle with salt. Add the minced garlic, egg yolks, lemon juice, and dijon mustard and stir to combine.

While whisking constantly, slowly stream in the olive and vegetable oils, forming an emulsion. Do not rush this step, otherwise your dressing will separate.

Whisk in parmesan and black pepper. At this point you can cover the dressing and refrigerate for up to 24 hours.

Pour the dressing over the romaine and sprinkle with parmesan curls and croutons. Serve immediately. Enjoy!

*The eggs yolks will be used raw in this recipe so please make sure to always buy fresh eggs from a reliable source.

You know that sweatshirt that you just loooove?

The one you found on clearance at Target and were seduced by its soft, cotton charm. The one you have had for about a decade and have worn more than anything else in your closet but still cannot muster up the courage to throw away, because, with a messy bun and some sparkly earrings it's still one of your favorite stylings.

My Favorite Key Lime Pie {Pedantic Foodie}

This pie is that sweatshirt.

Wait! The metaphor works, give me a chance.

There is nothing special about this pie, but then again, there is everything special about this pie.

This is the pie I'll bring you if you just had a tiny human leave your body. You worked hard, eat some pie.

This is the pie I'll make on a Monday night and eat for lunch on Tuesday afternoon.

This is the pie I can whip up with no rolling or cold butter coercing required.

This is my favorite key lime pie and it's about to become yours.

I have loved this pie recipe ever since I first dipped my toes into the warm, sugary ocean of baking.

It's flavors are familiar and bold, and it's construction is simple.

So simple, in fact, that I felt silly sharing it here. For four and a half years I have resisted, but I recently realized that this pie is one of my favorite things to bake and there was absolutely no excuse for not letting it have its fair share of time in the spotlight.

Besides, isn't simple what everyone wants anyways?

Now, as we have already established, this pie requires minimal effort, so I fully expect you to show an ounce or two of courage and make your own graham cracker crust. None of that store bought stuff, okay?

I promise you can do it.

(If you'd like a gluten-free alternative, it happens to be equally amazing with this simple coconut macaroon crust. Just omit the chocolate coating.)

While the crust blind bakes, the super simple, lime filling comes together.

Egg yolks, sugar, lime juice, and sweetened condensed milk, that's all.

Can I tell you a secret? Most of the time, I do not actually use key limes... While I can sometimes find them in my area of the country, they are often dry and lacking in flavor, so I usually just opt for standard limes. An even bigger secret? Most of the time, I just buy the juice. Already squeezed. Don't hate me. While I would never do such a thing with lemon juice, after thorough testing with fresh key limes, key lime juice, limes, and lime juice, I have found that it really just does not matter in this recipe. The fresh, acidic flavors are preserved, and much effort eliminated. Just make sure you always buy 100% lime juice from a brand you trust, none of that concentrate stuff.

The filling will look really thin, probably too thin, but that is just perfect. After a quick bake and some quality time in the refrigerator, it will be smooth and sliceable.

I hate throwing away leftover egg whites, so I love that this pie uses both parts! While our egg yolk-based filling bakes, the whites are whipped into a sweet, billowy meringue.

The meringue is baked just long enough to brown and then this pie has to sit in the refrigerator for a tortuously long amount of time. Four to six hours is an eternity when you have pie on the brain.

Simplicity at its finest right there. You gotta love the classics.

My Favorite Key Lime Pie

recipe adapted from Baking at Home with the Culinary Institute of America / serves 8

for the crust

- 10 whole graham crackers

- 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

- 1 tablespoon granulated sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Place crackers in the work bowl of your food processor and pulse until you have only fine crumbs.

Add in butter and sugar and pulse several times - until the mixture begins to pull away from the sides of the bowl.

Press the graham cracker mixture firmly into a 9-inch pie pan and bake for 8 minutes. Allow the crust to cool while you prepare the filling.

for the filling

- 4 large eggs, separated

- 14 ounces sweetened condensed milk

- 1/2 cup fresh key lime or lime juice

- 1 cup granulated sugar, divided

- 1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar

Combine egg yolks and 1/2 cup sugar in a large mixing bowl. Beat with a whisk until the yolks have just begun to lighten in color, then add lime juice and sweetened condensed milk. Whisk until smooth.

Pour the filling into the prepared pie crust and bake for 15 minutes, until the filling has just set. Prepare the meringue while the filling is baking.

In a large, clean bowl, combine egg whites and cream of tartar. Beat on high speed with an electric mixture. When the whites have become thick and shiny white, slowly sprinkle in the remaining 1/2 cup of sugar while continuing to beat, until the mixture forms stiff peaks.

Remove the baked pie from the oven and increase the oven temperature to 450 degrees.

Fold the meringue onto the top of the baked pie filling while it is still hot. Spread the meringue evenly, being conscious to cover the very edges of the pie crust. This will help keep the meringue from shrinking. Use a fork or butterknife to make decorative peaks and swirls on the surface.

Return the pie to the oven to brown the meringue. This should take about 5 minutes.

When the meringue is deep golden brown, remove the pie from the oven and refrigerate until fully cooled; about 4 hours before slicing and serving. Enjoy!